But after my makyng thow wryte more trewe

The literary districts of the internet have buzzed a bit lately over a recent round-up of things novelist Jonathan Franzen dislikes. These range from e-books, smart phones, and the internet, to outdoor cats, to Michiko Kakutani.

The pedigree of honey

You don't find these in perfectly manicured lawns.

And ek a peyre of ful Boystous schoon, vppon his Feet

I know there are some mediaevalists lurking in the corners around here. And I know that they are familiar with the silly shoe of the later Middle Ages, the poulaine:

"Than bespake hym gode Robyn: 'To dyne have I noo lust'"

So.  It's Friday.  It's the end of a long and trying week defending American agriculture.

"For they had no mud in paradise"

I think I mentioned that the county had marked a tree on the corner of my property for removal.

"And I won't tell you where it is"

I had a project planned for this weekend that called for the use of glue. Plain white school glue. No chemical warnings, no need to stock acetone in case I glued my fingers together, no heat required. Just the sticking of things to other things with white glue.

Of course, I had no white glue in the house. Thus, when I went grocery shopping, I had it on my list. As the local grocery has its stationery section at the end of an aisle facing the entry, I went straight to it, picked up a bottle of glue, and put it in my basket.

Then I finished my shopping, checked out, went home, put away the food, took care of other things, and at last came back to look for my bottle of glue.

Except there was no bottle of glue. It wasn't in the reusable tote. It wasn't in the plastic bag in which they'd insisted putting the V-8. I pulled out the receipt and looked -- it wasn't on the receipt.

It was as though the glue had never been. I am baffled.

Adrienne Rich

"Though, wrecked on Egypt's obelisks, disaster I defied"

I was supposed to bring dessert for Easter at Maman's house. The plan was a cake, with strawberries and some whipped cream on the side.

Saturday morning, I made a cake. It came out well. I was pleased.

"They bring me roast, they bring me boiled, But all in vain they woo me"

When I was a teacher, my students often said (or wrote) amazing things.

Now that I work for the federal government, I have to rely on public comments for my doses of amazing statements. This means that they come less often, and I am somehow more reticent to talk about them when they do happen, lest I reinforce the image of the East Coast elitist bureaucrat.

But, really, I am not sure that there is a great difference between noting the amazing things said by high school students and noting the amazing things said by random citizens.

So here is a (very slight) paraphrase of an amazing thing said by a commenter on a recent notice:

In the Book of Genesis, Jesus Christ instructs us to eat a vegan diet.

Take a moment and let that soak in.

...

Amazing, no?

Now I have an entirely irreverent mental image of God-the-Suburban-Father enjoying the smoke of Abel's lamb barbeque, while his hippy Son stamps a sandaled foot and tells him that animals have a right to live too.


P.G. Wodehouse

Textura, non catena

So. This Caitlin Flanagan in the Atlantic thing with the argument that gardening in schools is a stupid waste of resources.

Stop it. Stop it RIGHT NOW.

Mostly I ignore the abuses against language that appear in the sidebar adverts on web pages. But there is no excuse for this sort of crap, and to be slugged with both in one day is intolerable:

Cuisinternship?

Thindulge?

Links provided to shame the guilty. I'd say I'd boycott the latter product but since I don't buy mass-produced bread much these days, it wouldn't be much of a statement.

Don't make me get the neologism stick. I am not kidding. Do you hear me?

One letter makes all the difference

Dear People on Teh Intartubez:

Unless you are speaking of someone in possession of an actual French person (be that person of this century or a previous one; one of the Essuvii would be ideal), or of the actual territory of either modern France or Roman Gaul, then do not say 'he has the gaul to do thus-and-such.'

He does not have the Gaul. No one, with the possible exceptions of a Roman slaveowner or the nation of France, has the Gaul.

He may indeed have the gall (2) to do such a thing.

But not the Gaul.

Giving a whole new meaning to 'going walkabout'

So let me get this straight ...

In the upset over the Metro accident, I missed the breaking of the news story about the governor of South Carolina hiking the Appalachian Trail ...

... to Buenos Aires ...
... telling no one where he was going ...
... so he could ponder some big issues and write something ...
... away from the wife and kids ...
... on Father's Day weekend.

I am looking forward to the press conference. This ought to be a riot.