Newsflash

I stumbled across Fugly Horse of the Day and have been mesmerised. So much of it is so much like so many things I've said/dealt with/thought in the dog showing/breeding/rescue game that it actually blows my poor little mind.

I guess the moral of the story is: people suck. Nothing really new or surprising about that, is there?

Some samples of overlap:

Just because you love it, doesn't mean it's a good idea to breed it.

Yes, Molly/Maggie/Missy is the best dog EVAR and you love her to pieces. So spay her and protect her from future risks of uterine/overian cancer. Yes, dogs can get those too.

The fact that she is the best dog EVAR also isn't going to fix her ewe neck, saggy topline, and eastie-westie front. It just means she will produce ewe-necked, saggy-backed, eastie-westie puppies.

Golden litters are typically 8-10 puppies. You can breed two high-quality champion dogs and get 6-9 attractive pets and one or two really stellar show prospects. Or sometimes you just get 8-10 meh pups who will at least be sweet pets even if you want to put paper bags over their heads. Given the odds of getting two champion dogs to produce another champion, what in all the gods' names makes you think that breeding your snake-headed, straight-shouldered, sickle-hocked pet is going to have better results?

Bad conformation makes for bad performance.

Seriously, people, do you expect that ewe-necked, saggy-backed, eastie-westie puppy to go out in the field and pick up geese all day? If so, why?

Papers matter, but they are not the only thing that matters.

Or, registration doesn't guarantee you a quality critter. It may better your odds, especially in the horse world, but all a pedigree tells you is who the critter's ancestors are. It doesn't make any promises about them being any good.

No good [critter] is a bad colour, but a bad critter can be a good colour.

Or, pretty blonde coat does not correct for ewe-neck, saggy-backed, eastie-westie fugliness. Sorry.

We used to joke about people buying and dumping Goldens based on the colour of their carpets. Then we met a woman who actually seemed to be trying to coordinate her dog with her decor. My mother was planning to breed one of her bitches, a lovely dog with a sweet disposition and a beautiful honey blonde coat fading out to platinum at the feathers. I know women who spend the big bucks at the hairdressing trying to get that shade of gold in their highlights.

So, this woman comes flouncing in to my mother's house. We show her pictures of the stud, copies of the pedigrees and the health checks, and then we bring our girl up for her to see.

'Oh,' she says, lip curling, and drawing back from a normal, friendly Golden. 'She's awfully dark.'

Needless to say Maman did not sell her a puppy.

You need to ask yourself what kind of sick ego trip you're fulfilling by creating mixed breed fuglies in an oversaturated market and throwing them out to face their destiny with no training.

And that goes double for all you labradoodle, peekapoo, what-the-f***-ever- producing nutbags. Shelters are full of perfectly serviceable mutts and you're out breeding more?